heartbroken

This past week has been emotionally challenging for me as I found out a week ago from today that one of my former clients died in a car accident. This sweet little girl died on August 30th at the age of 3, 5 days short of her 4th birthday. She was such a jewel, a treasure to be around.

I began working with her family early 2008 and continued to do so until the day I resigned from my previous job to stay home with Austin. This family, consisting of a single mom and 3 children (1 boy & 2 girls), is incredibly dear and near to my heart. I worked with the mom and each child individually to help find solutions for various social needs. This is a family that understood the concept of self-determination, personal responsibility and hard work. Not once did they ever try to abuse the system, nor ask for more than what was needed. As a social worker, I live by the idea that I will only put forth as much effort and heart into each working relationship as the client puts into it. If they choose to work towards their goals whole-heartedly I will give them my time and effort whole-heartedly. This is exactly what I did with this amazing family.

This single mom works odd jobs in order to provide decent meals for her family and pay the bills. She cleans homes around the city and vacant apartments, as well as the laundry facilities throughout her apartment complex. Encouraging and teaching her to care for herself was a hard task for me. She was always on the move, mainly so that she could be home by the time her kids were out of school.

On Sunday, August 30th I received a message from her son informing me about the accident. I hadn't heard from them since I stopped working for the agency, so receiving this message was incredibly shocking. He told me about the accident and gave me their number so that I could call them. I waited a day before contacting the family. Longest day ever... I finally contacted the family on Tuesday after discussing this with my previous supervisor and getting the "go ahead."

HEARTBROKEN! I was speechless and still feel at loss for words to help describe this situation. It is hard to believe that such a young life has ended so quickly, so tragically. A quick reminder of how fragile life is.

I attended the viewing which was held in the family's home. Walking down the parking lot, up to their apartment felt eternal. I could see the casket way down the sidewalk and couldn't keep myself together. As a mother of one, soon to be two, the possibility of losing my children causes my legs to weaken and my heart to feel heavy. HOW COULD THIS BE!?!? I walked past the casket directly to mom's room and hugged her tightly. Again, I was speechless. What do you tell a mom who has so tragically lost her youngest daughter??? All I could do was hug her and listen to her sob and whisper softly into my ear, "How will I ever get through this, I love her and I need her." Listening is often the best medicine, the best response.

This precious baby girl could light up the room with her vibrant smile and grace. It didn't take much for a her to catch the attention of another. I have never experienced the death of a client, much less that of a child. Having worked so closely with this family & for so long, felt as if I was losing a family member. As a social worker, you get to experience life with your clients- the good, the bad and the ugly. You rejoice with them and you cry with them. Never did I imagine crying with a family for this particular reason. I am incredibly thankful for having the opportunity to work with this family, especially this sweet little girl.

Major PRAISE!!! God is good all the time! The family had to raise over $7000 to pay for the funeral costs; the money was raised in 4 days with the help of family, friends, classmates, and strangers. Praise God for his provision!!! The funeral was very special. The church was filled with family, friends and teachers.

RIP sweet girl.

Do keep this family in your thoughts and prayers as they work through the loss of a daughter, sister & friend.